Where Tarantino meets Thackeray

Arundhati Roy to head Faking News

2011-08-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

The grapevine has it that Arundhati Roy has been offered the chief editor job at Faking News. On enquiring about this with faking News, their sources confirmed that interviews like this (http://www.rediff.com/news/slide-show/slide-show-1-rss-ngos-media-ran-hazare-movement-arundhati-roy/20110830.htm) made her a front runner for the post. "We weren't exactly looking for an editor but we were scared that Arundhati might start a competing website. While we take in articles from a big set of readers/users, Arundhati was single handedly generating enough crap to wean away our readership share" said a reliable source.

In conversation with us, Arundhati said she was elated with the offer and was looking forward to her new role. Correcting it, she said, this is a role she has been playing for quite a while now, but is happy to make it official. When quizzed about her vision for FakingNews, she claimed that she was going to remove it from the digital media and make it print only since the internet was full of RSS feeds. Her core team is to comprise of Digvijay Singh and Rakhi Sawant (whom she considers her equivalent in the entertainment industry). Talks are also on to get Sreesanth on board for the sports section.

She proactively said she would write 2 articles on the first day at office:

1. "Why Indian cars should be converted to left hand drive?"- people always overtake from the right. If this is not really possible, her proposal is to increase the number of left hand drives to be inversely proportional to the popularity and praacticality of the Left. This she believes is a sure strategy to increase the proportion of left hand drives.

2. A scoop on how McDonalds is funding hunger fasts throughout India. She asserts that she has information from a proprietary internal documents from McDonalds which states that the appetitie for burgers increases exponentially with fasting. We didn't believe on questioning how she got access to the report, since it seemed to meet the high benchmarks of absolute bullshit she has set for herself.

Wish her the very best for her new job.

Jan Lokpal: A Shankar movie?

2011-08-18T06:36:00.001-07:00

The entire Lokpal scream reminds me of the decade old Shankar classic "Indian". An old man, a freedom fighter, fighting corruption. The story in fact seemed to have it right. They weren't only going after the politicians, but against the corrupt who affect the common man's daily life- the Government doctor who asked for bribes, the brake inspector who certified a malfunctioning vehicle. Viewers had a vicarious thrill- fighting corruption! It was nice to see on screen what we couldn't do in reality. Cut to 2011: An old man and his team of upright intellectuals have put down the draft of a bill they see as a panacea. Instead of the martial art techniques, the (ironical) new weapon is the fast. The Shankar movie of the 90s played in the box office. The latest one plays on English news channels- Times Now, NDTV, CNN IBN et al.

Why then can't we have the same utopian ending the movie had? Simple- the movie characterised people into black and white. The corrupt and the clean. The 80 year old man was clean, the guy asking for bribes was corrupt. Now, is this true in the Indian society? 99% of people and this might be an understatement have been involved in corruption in some form. Well, true we don't give or takes in A Raja's least count of lakhs of crores, but certainly corruption is ingrained in our society. How? Anyone who has taken an auto in Chennai where the fares are approximately 2X of what they should be are paying a bribe. When you pay the guy who cleans the sewage next to your home for his tea/food, you are paying a bribe. The point is that this is a battle where you are your own enemy. The battle lines aren't clear to fight.

The entire idea of a creating separate institution called the Lokpal seems meaningless. What are our anti-corruption bureaus doing? How do we ensure that the Lokpal doesn't suffer the same fate? In a country where Kasab is caught red-handed and not convicted, where S. Gurumurthy's incisively factual article on Dayanidhi Maran's exchange is not enough for an arrest, where there are what you call "gangsters turned politicians" (don't understand the difference between the two btw), what can a new power centre do?

Is it worth spending 90% of the effort on 1% of the impact by debating whether the PM should be under the ambit of the Lokpal Bill or not? Wouldn't the media castigate the PM anyways if he/she is accused of corruption? Besides, we live in a country where we are not really sure who the PM is? So, why the debate?

The big scams, those that the Raja's of the world are involved in require a strong judiciary. I don't understand law, but somehow the Kasab case seems a complete farce to me. The legal system seems to be counter-intuitive to the logical and factual system. The Election Commission, to a great extent has done a good job of being independent. Can we replicate it for the judiciary and the CBI?

Let's think about the day-to-day corruption which is most painful to the common man- bribes at signals, paying the EB wala, property documents. This to me seems a tougher problem to solve. Don't have a clue on how this can be tackled. Transparency and accountability seems like a good answer. What if the EB puts up a portal/sms app where people can register complaints and this is displayed publicly. So you have data saying 60 complaints, 43 attended today. Questions are asked (by the public/counsellors/whoever) on why the others haven't been attended to the manager(with some power to take him to task) and he in turn manages his sub-ordinates. You no longer have the the EB mechanic asking you for the Rs.10 for tea. He would instead come to you for a signature saying the complaint has been attended to, like the courier boys. An extension of the RTI, a dynamic one, where the key metrics are measured daily. Metrics are defined from the micro level to the MLA/MP level and all of these are made public. Elections are not fought on freebies, but on percentage success. This is how most organizations run, why not try it for the Government? Re-looking at some of our stupid rules seems to be another necessity. While we have moved from the perils of the Socialist era, some of our rules give us a sense of deja-vu. Why not eliminate those steps in the process which are most prone to corruption- e.g. approvals from a hundred bodies to construct a house. Why can't we have a single window system for housing approval, again with an easily measurable metric like number of requests, number reviewed and number accepted. Wouldn't the monkey be on his back to then get you the approvals.

Broadly, accept the noble cause that Shri Anna Hazare and his team are fighting, but think they are trying to play a T20 in a test match. We don't need a Gayle with the elixir, we need a Dravid who is willing to stand and fight for the cause.

When you can see Innaritu and hear Tarantino

2011-07-13T09:12:00.001-07:00

If you are the kind who doesn't shudder at violence, if you are the kind you who doesn't cringe at profanity, if you are the kind who loves Machiavellianism, if you are the kind who can understand Tamil, go watch Aaranya Kandam.

There are clear influences- you can see the storytelling style, the animal fights, the parallel stories of Alejandro, the violence, the music, the black humour, the long scenes of Tarantino, the raw characterization of the City of God, but this is is so much Indian, so much Tamil, so much Chennai, so much galeej.

I'm not revealing anything about the movie here- it can't be read, it has to be watched, it can't be told, it has to to be heard. To Thiagarajan Kumararaaja and the team of Aaranya Kandam- take a bow! Would be a pity if this is not India's entry to the Oscars this year.

Common Aptitude Test (Political)

2011-06-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

A fictitious version of the famed CAT for political aspirants of today.

Q1. Sanity : Digvijay Singh as
a. Snow: Chennai
b. Behaviour: Sreesanth
c. Efficiency: Air India
d. All of the above

Q2. If Manmohan Singh is the PM of India, Sonia Gandhi is the mother of Rahul Gandhi and wife of Rajiv Gandhi, Rahul Gandhi is the baap of Digvijay Singh and Digvijay Singh is Kapil Sibal's mentor, then who calls the shots in the Government?
a. Sonia Gandhi
b. Rahul Gandhi's mom
c. Rajiv Gandhi's wife
d. All roads lead to Rome

Q3. If you give Rs. 100 to Raja and he gives what he got to Kani and she gives what she got to Mr.X, how much does Mr. X get?
a. Rs.50
b. Rs.30
c. Rs.20
d. Rs.10

Q4. What would Kapil Sibal's answer be if you ask him why the answer to Q3 is not Rs. 100?
a. There is no loss to the exchequer, it's all notional
b. Wait, I'm thinking of where to open the IIT for this week
c. Wait, I'm thinking of where to open the IIM for this week
d. Let me ask Digvijay Singh

Q5. Who discovered Newton's third law of motion?
a. Sir Isaac Newton
b. Narendra Modi
c. None of the above
d. Both a and b together

Q6. If the Left owned an IPL team, what would it be called?
a. Tripura Termites
b. JNU Jokers
c. Kolkata Refugees
d. Nandigram Natives

Q7. What does the Congress party do, 15 minutes before Digvijay Singh addresses the media?
a. Prepare the speech to be given later in the day saying that they dissociate themselves from his personal comments given as a party spokesperson
b. Prepare the speech to be given later in the day saying that he was misquoted
c. Plead with him and ask him not to speak to the media
d. Make him an offer he cannot refuse: "If you speak to the media, you will have to watch Abhishek Bachan's Idea 3G ads continuously for an hour"

Q8. Which of the following is closest to the meaning of the word "fast"?
a. It's what Karunanidhi does between breakfast and lunch for the cause of Tamils
b. This is what Baba Ramdev does to maintain his fitness but for some reason the UPA Government is scared of this
c. It signifies the pace of construction of the Bangalore Metro Rail
d. None of the above

Q9. What phrase best describes Rahul Gandhi's role in Indian politics?
a. Sympathetic tourist
b. The Devdas of UP elections
c. Heartbreak kid
d. Public relations expert

Q10. Why did the chicken cross the road from side A to side B?
a. Because Digvijay Singh was speaking on side A
b. Because the Left had promised side A of the road to the Tatas
c. Because Mayawati wanted side A of the road to be filled with her statues
d. Becasue Digvijay Singh, Left and Mayawati were fighting on who will get to do what they want

Successful clearance of this test is a necessity to join politics of today!

Operation Vittudalamo – If RAW finds Dawood Ibrahim

2011-05-19T04:15:00.000-07:00

To non-tams, Vittudalamo in the title means “Shall we leave him?”

On a night of pandemonium, RAW claims to have discovered Dawood Ibrahim’s house in Karachi. They are ready preparing for the now famous Abbottabad-style attack. The stealth helicopters are ready to go.

RAW head to Home Minister: Sir, we have found Dawood Ibrahim in a house in Karachi, can we take him down?
Home Minister: Wait! We need the PM’s approval for this. It’s around 8 pm now. I don’t I can disturb him now.
RAW head: Sir, but its absolutely urgent. We will lose him if we don’t decide in a few hours.
Home Minister: Hmm. But aren’t you guys using Air India to go to Karachi. So what’s the point in me hurrying up with the approval? Anyway those pilots are on strike.
RAW head: Sir, we have our own stealth helicopters.
Home Minister: Okay, I’ll speak to the PM and get back to you.

Home Minister informs the PM about this effort. The PM is busy estimating if the inflation would come down to single digit by 2012 and is pissed off to be disturbed. This is where the information flow starts.

PM to Sonia Gandhi to Rahul Gandhi to UP Youth Congress President (UPYCP).

Rahul: So, it seems they are going to capture or kill Dawood. Are you okay with it?
Ram Jethmalani: I’m not okay with killing him. Please capture him and bring him to India. I will defend him just like I’ve defended all other criminals who were caught red-handed.
UPYCP: ¬Rahulji, no. We can’t kill Dawood now ji. With the UP elections coming up next year, we will lose minority votes if we do.
Rahul: But, can’t I salvage that by visiting some Muslim homes with full PR spotlight and then alleging that Mayawati is torturing and raping minorities?
UPYCP: Rahulji, actually I’ve spoken to Madamji also about this. You have been doing this for years now and we know what happened in the last election. We don’t want to be killed this election also.
The information flow starts backwards now.

Rahul to Sonia to PM to Home Minister.
However, unconvinced the Home Minister calls an emergency meeting with some key Indian personalities.

Home Minister: Listen, should we or should we not go after him? He is in Karachi.
Teesta Setalvad: This is a human rights violation! Even thinking about arresting or killing a terrorist is a violation of human rights!
HR Bharadwaj: We should dismiss the Yeduyurappa Government. They are responsible for Dawood being in Karachi!
Kapil Sibal: Karachi? Why don’t we set up an IIM there?
Prathibha Patil: But its Karachi!
Kapil Sibal: Then we should probably set up an IIT.
Pratibha Patil: Ya, but it should be an all-girls IIT.
Arjun Singh (from his grave): With 50% reservation!
Raj Thackeray: If you capture Dawood, we won’t let him into Mumbai. He is not Marathi. Btw, can you reserve 50% for marathi girls at the Karachi IIT?
Prakash Karat: No, we cannot allow our helicopters to use so much fuel for this operation. The fuel prices have risen and use of fuel by these helicopters will affect the common man. We will strongly condemn this and call for a hartal in Kerala and Bengal.
Everyone else in the room laughs! A loud voice is heard saying “Do you have short-term memory loss? You just got kicked out of both the states!”
Home Minister gives up and then decides that it is not worth it.

Digvijaya Singh convenes a press conference.
Digvijaya Singh: We have found Dawood Ibrahim in Karachi through Operation Vittudalamo. However, we have decided to not go after him.
Reporter: Sir, why? Isn’t he a dreaded terrorist?
Digvijaya Singh: No, Dawoodji is a freedom fighter. He fought for the needs of the poor and the needy.
Reporter: But wasn’t he responsible for the Mumbai blasts?
Digvijaya Singh: So what? We are secular. We let terrorists from all religions burst a few bombs here and there.
Reporter: Huh?
Digvijaya Singh: In fact, I have spoken to Forbes and asked them why he is not included in the list of richest Indians.

The press conference ends there. Arnab Goswami now walks into his own show on Times Now like a chief guest with the headlines scrolling : “Links between Dawood and 2G scam. 2G scam accused let off”

Arnab Goswami: So Mr. Raja, what is your take on what we said?
Raja: Arey, at least now I thought you guys will focus on some other news. But you are still targeting me. No comments.
Arnab: So Kanimozhi, what do you think?
Kanimozhi: There is no link between Dawood and the 2G scam. I’m very sure.
Arnab: How come?
Kanimozhi: Well, we never received any kickbacks from him. If he did benefit from the scam, we will demand a CBI enquiry to find out why they didn’t pay anything to Kalaignar TV.
Now, the PM calls for a meet since the issue is now a burning issue.
PM: We strongly condemn terrorism!
Reporter: Sir, but Digvijaya Singh?
PM: Oh, Congress and the Govt dissociate themselves from his personal views.
Reporter: But he is the Congress spokesperson!
PM: Anyway, getting back to this, don’t worry we’ve handed over a list of 50 most wanted terrorists to Pakistan. Why waste our helicopters?
Reporter: But the list had the name of a guy who is facing trial in India!!
PM: Oh ya, since time immemorial we have been giving them the same list and they haven’t cared! So we never bother to update it. Besides, so what if one of them is in India? While Pakistan is a safe illegal haven for terrorists, India is a safe legal haven for terrorists. We arrest them, put them in jail and kill them.
Teesta Setalvad: Capital punishment should be banned. Let’s call for a protest!
PM: No, no wait! I meant that we kill him through the sheer boredom of our judicial process. It goes on for years. So it is a natural death.¬
PM: Anyway, I’ve taken enough questions. I need to go for the IPL final. Couldn’t find any company. So have called Gilani over. Need to meet him.

Next day in the newspaper, there is a full page ad in the back page, with a smiling Arindam Chaudhari saying “Dare to think beyond the CIA: A case study on Operation Vittudalamo published in the reputed IIPM business journal”

The film that refuses to leave my mind

2011-01-28T11:02:00.000-08:00

When Vetrimaran gives credits to various other films, including a whole bunch of Alejandro Gonzale Innaritu films, it is surprising. As an ardent fan of Alejandro's works, I couldn't find any reason why Vetrimaran would give any credit to Alejandro for Aadukalam. This is the indication of greatness. When films are copied frame by frame without permission, who gives credit for inspiration these days?

4 hours post the film, it lingers fresh in my mind - an indelible mark. Very rarely in Indian films, do you find such hard hitting realism in a not-so-artsy fashion. The smartness impresses you. Using cockfights instead of a routine sport kindles your curiosity. The acting (Dhanush, Kishore, Jayabalan) amazes you. You feel you are somewhere in the Aadukalam (playground) playing the game of egos with them.

The presentation seems slow but is actually building up the characters into your brain, then to your heart and eventually into your subconscious mind. There is not a bit of commercialism in the movie, yet there is not a moment of boredom. The songs -Yathe Yathe and Aiyayo Nenju, and the BGM keep ringing in your ears far from the theatre. GV Prakash has probably come out with his best album as yet.

Polladhavan was good, slick and impressive but Aadukalam is in a different league. The one occupied by Tamil classics such as Nayagan, Devar Magan and Thalapathy.

To me, this film ceases to leave my mind - the same effect which The Godfather, Amores Perros, Rashomon and Nayagan had. A big salute to Vetrimaran, please give us more such works.

It is time for Shaastra cores to zip up

2011-01-24T09:09:00.000-08:00

While this post can/ will potentially hurt many of my close friends, it is imperative for me to put things into perspective.

I open my FB and there is this completely inane set of ex/current Shaastra cores trying to mudsling Saarang just before it is about to take place. Insecurity? Pretentious?

1. Shaastra is 1/3 the size of Saarang. Your record sponsorship was less than 75% of our budget. We have other revenue streams, something you cannot command. The best products in the world command prices for their content. You cannot. Besides, we do not get to a position where we need our alumni to bail us out.

2. Shaastra is where IITians acknowledge that they are good at something they ought to be good at. It is not a challenge, it is a showcase of mere necessity. If as IITians we cannot run it, we need to be ashamed. It's more like a kid being proud that he/she is a kid. Try being the man.

3. In my last 2 years of Shaastra, the crowd that had gathered was less that what you would find out in insti on a Sunday morning. Apart from lack of outside particpants, many insti junta have left the place. Quality participation it seems! Sounds more like Ravindra Jadeja showing huge potential. In this context, I find it hard that Shaastra EP cores have the audacity to criticise something else? You attract one row of audience in a theatre and call the film a success?

4. Shaastra is ISO certified. So, are Velammal Metric Hr. Secondary School, Surapet. So, is the unknown water cans I used to get in my house. Never knew clerical work invokes pride! Of course, it is difficult to get an ISO certification for Saarang. We don't run events where a maximum of hundred techies get orgasms from seeing an eerie-looking thing follow the coloured line. We bring southern India's focus to IITM. Not just those elite and the geek.

5. Shaastra is an innovator. Of course, there have been successful attempts like the Symposium, Coanda Lifter to name a few. But showing a laser show in continuous editions is innovation? Kishkinta, the theme park has been doing this for years. If your show was so very unique and cool, why not try ticketing it? Saarang online photography contest and its success is huge lesson in digital marketing. Innovation ain't just inventing bulbs? They can only be invented once!

6. Shaastra cores are stud. I don't deny this fact at all (SK, Melons, Vignesh etc). But that doesn't automatically imply anything about the Saarang core team. We can look at placements/CAT results for proof. Of course, Shaastra cores get good apps. But that is again doing what they are meant to do.

7. There is nepotism in Culsec elections and Saarang core/coordinator selections. Mates, how would it make any sense for the previous years cores having the final say in core selection? Isn't nepotism involved there? Isn't compatibility with the leader even a cause of concern? You may be the best coord, but if you cannot gel well with your co-as, is it still fine? Besides, you should start wearing trousers and accepting that networking and relations are as important as your capability in the real world. You have roughly the same number of cores for an event one-third the size. Productivty per core, can we measure that?

8. In the recent past (3 yrs), there has never been a credible opponent to the would-be Coas. It has either been a mockery of an election or no elections. Lack of a credible opponent could be due to three reasons. One - there is some sort of unfair pre-selection which keeps potential opponents out. Two - There is enough and more politics to make sure that the election is unopposed. Three- there is no sort of mentoring in Shaastra to throw up multiple candidates to lead it next year. All of the above are harmful. Besides, obviously there cannot be election-oriented nepotism when there are no elections!

9. No Saarang core feels insecure before Shaastra to defame it on a public forum. After all, we need both of them to make IITM the special place that it is. Noone cares two hoots for what you think. The mature understand it, those who feel sidelined that their sister festival is getting way more attention than theirs cannot!

X. What is Saarang?
Y. It's IIT Madras' culfest.

A. What is Shaastra?
B. Isn't it the college near Tanjore?
A. No, it is IIT Madras' tech fest.
B. Oh! Ok. So?
A. I thought it was cool.
B. May you labour in your delusions!

P.S. Of what use is a blade without a razor? It may be ISO 9000 and whatever certified but is of no use!

The fading Desi-American dream?

2010-12-29T04:36:00.000-08:00

At a cousin's wedding

Aunty : What are you doing?
Me: I'm working with McKinsey & Company.

Aunty: In US?
Me: No, in Mumbai.

Aunty: But didn't you study at IIT?
Me: Yes, I did.

Aunty: Oh, why didn't you write GRE then?
Me: Well, I did but chose not to apply for higher studies.

Aunty (in a perplexed manner): Why?
Me: I got a good offer here. Probably the best I would get even if I did go to the US. I wasn't keen on a MS/PhD in engineering.

Aunty (now condescendingly): Oh, but my son is in the US.
Me (with the same interest Rakhi Sawant would have to solving a Sudoko): Oh that's great!

Aunty (boastfully) : He studied at "fill in any three letter word" engineering college in India. Now he's doing his MS at "probably the 149th or 150th ranked engineering univ" in the US.
Me (controlling my urge to state what I typed above): Ok.

Aunty : He's got 60% funding. Blah blah blah.
Me: Ok.

Aunty: You should go to the US. Try writing GRE and doing MS there.
Me: I'm not interested. I would have gone there already if I wanted to.

To a typical Tam Brahm household, I had stated something blasphemous. I was now too crazy to be spoken to.

The IITM scene

IIT Madras in many ways is considered to be the app factory. There were days when 95% of the class would go to the US. The remaining 5% either went to one of the IIMs or were yet to complete their degree. The app files are so strong. I've hear rumours saying that they even have details on which visa counter to go to, to not get the pink slip!

In my batch of chemical engineering at IIT Madras, out of the top 5 in the class, 1 person chose to go to the US. The remaining 4 of us had good admits/had a good shot at an admit. To Aunty, this would seem absurd. It clearly isn't. IITs in some ways have been, I would say 5-10 years ahead of many of the other engineering colleges. The mass recruiting by Wipro/CTS/TCS/Accenture/any-other-IT-firm-where-you-are-a-techno-savvy-glorified-typist is not present at the IITs. They were present, from what I've heard 5-10 years back.

Currently, I've seen two kinds of people who "app" to the US from IITM.

1. The research devotee : The guy who is clear he wants to do research. Doesn't care about anything else. Wants a PhD. Has a clear area of interest. Is the actual guy who should be getting admits.

2. The desperate apper: One who hasn't got a day 1/2/3 job despite having done reasonably/very well at IIT. Knows clearly that he has no other option. An app is easy to get given the IITM tag and the CGPA. Apps and goes semi-willingly to a good univ in the US.

The fading American dream

There could be multiple reasons for this changing trend. The growing opportunity in India is certainly one. You probably have more MNCs with good job profiles now than ever before. The salary could be another. With a 7 figure salary in India, you live like a king. I would equate a Rs. 10 lakh pay in India (~USD 25,000) to a USD 150,000 in the US. Of course, you can argue that the Big Mac Index gives a different answer, the recent PPP calculations state otherwise. But the fact is, with 10 lakhs in India, you live a life of luxury - no cooking, no cleaning, no grass mowing, no snow clearing, no working in library/petrol pump/grocery store.

I'm certainly not pointing fingers at the noble researchers who are making wonders at US univs, not at the HBS/Wharton grads who are rocking the US corporates, I'm certainly talking about the thousands of MS students in ones similar to the University of Alaska (don't even know if it exists but you know what I mean). To struggle to fund your MS, to struggle to find a decent job, to live a hand-mouth existence, can't you return to India? Is there a comfort in suffering far away while giving the American impression back home that valuable?

This post is a tribute to the parents of all those engineers who take pride in the value of a MS from University of "fill up whatever you want, but noone else will know where it is" or about the eliteness of the same IT job I was referring to above.

Times are changing, there is nothing valuable in bidding for Sunil Gavaskar in the 2011 IPL auction.

Life beyond college

2010-12-25T08:38:00.000-08:00

Three fourths, cycle, Rs. 43 per day food -> Formal wear, chaffeur driven cars, Rs. 1000 per dinner. Self explanatory? There is no transition, it is a quantum jump.

The orbit jumping last 4 months started with fun loaded training sessions. McKinsey has had quite an impact- 8 kgs in 4 months, the most I've ever gained.

Went searching for a house in Mumbai- reality dawned. You can't search for houses in South Mumbai. You search for what I can politely call "rat holes". Fate saved the day, was given a long study in Chennai. Home coming. Went around living Taj Mount Road, Boat Club Road. The Boat Club bungalow was big, but coming after a house search in Mumbai, I felt as if I was living in Mukesh Ambani's Peddar Road home.

Friends would have found me shady I guess. I wasn't telling them who I was working for, I was telling them I was busy at 11 pm, I was cutting calls. So much for turning the professional - management consultant. No doubts about the job though, couldn't ask for more straight out of college. The dream finishing school, McKinsey the dream job.

Wasn't used to being free on weekends. Weekends were a bliss, indicative of life to follow? Kept going back to IITM, don't seem to have got out of the place. Love it, for obvious and not so obvious reasons. Placements, more fun and stress free from the other side.

Tribute to Dr. R

2010-07-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer : All characters, incidents appearing in this post are purely real. Any resemblance to a real life character is completely intended.

Below is a spoof of the ‘Inglourious Basterds’ trailer. If you haven’t watched it, watch it first before reading it.

The text appearing within brackets indicate the things which are not spoken in the trailer. Appearing with blood stains the original trailer.

Here it goes.

“The Frankenstein Company”

Ten hut. Eyes forward.

(Once upon a time)

(In Pain State University {Dr. R’s Alma Madar})

My name is good-for-nothing Dr. R.

(Activate)

And I need my eight colleagues.

(Infiltrate)

We are going to be dropped into India, dressed as professors. We are going to be doing one thing and one thing only.

(Misanthropism)

Tormenting IIT students.

Yes, chaddi.

The IIT students conquered the world through intellect, astuteness, hardwork and deep thinking. And that’s exactly NOT what we are going to do to them. We will be inane to the Indian.

And through our stupidity, they will know who we are. They will find the evidence of our stupidity, in the fatigued, demotivated, intellectually challenged bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the IITians will not be able to help themselves from the unimaginable cruelty their brothers endure in our labs and our courses and the lack of content in our speeches.

(You haven’t seen stupidity)

The IITian will be sickened by us.

(Until you’ve seen it through the eyes)

The IITian will talk about us.

(Of Dr. R)

And the IITian will scorn us.

(There is no rationality)

We got no sensibility.

(In Dr. R’s head)

And they need to be made foolish.

(Dr.R {Director cum hero})

Each and every man under my command owes me 100 demotivated students. And I want my tortured students.

(Meretricious Challengers {Name of film})

An IIT director : No, no, no, no

Dr. R : Sounds bad ?

Colleagues : Yes, chaddi

(A psycho’s work is never done)

The finale - The beginning

2010-07-06T23:38:00.000-07:00

The most fun filled days of my life at IIT Madras are now a thing of the past. My convocation on July 30th would be my last day there as a student. The nostalgic feeling is further enhanced by the activities in my final sem . What a finish really !!!

Being the most jobless of my semesters, I had just two peaceful courses and a BTP where I worked 2 hours a week. Saarang was among the biggest things I've done and the four days was when time and place really didn't matter. getting attached to my room, I hardly ever went out of it. Ah! those wonderful late night discussions on the HS terrace with Divya, Avantika and Neeraj. How badly I miss that blissful place :(

The NYC win, those random calls from more random people from even more random places, all about tickets, days when my mobile needed to be charged 3 times, the cycle fall and the bruises, closeness and intimacy, the shock and the comeback, disbelief and working around it, what emotions this sem has given me.

Tambi hostel, my mates, our continued "fight putting" for nights to get our RGs and wing video done, our last few wing treats, CAT results, bidding adieu and the memories that last a lifetime.

The girl, the trips to hitherto unknown restaurants, the car, the trips on ECR, the already scratched but unbreakable bond, the revelations and the dejection, the exultation and the pleasure of being back, myriad of emotions, larbyrinth of the mind, complexity of decisions, the power of togetherness, the acceptance at home.

IPL, CSK, the win, the euphoria, the dancing in the common room, will we ever do this again? Is it the finale, the end?

McK, Rishikesh, rafting, beach games, fun unleashed, teetotaling, the jargon,the induction, Mumbai worries, consulting, the beginning?

The sad ending of four happy years ---- > the joyous beginning of a hectic career?

Day One

2009-12-21T04:17:00.000-08:00

Many people have been asking me about my experience on Day One of Placements. I thought I should share my experience here.

2/12/2009 - The D Day
The day lots of us had been waiting for had arrived. All the effort with making the resume, attending pre placement talks, doing cases in groups had to culminate this day. Just a bit about my mindset before the day. I had come home to pick up my blazer and had slept from 11 pm to 4 am only. Got a bit tense after that to continue sleeping. My satisfaction with my CAT performance and my preparation for both cases and the personal interview parts gave me some amount of confidence. My experience last year as a Placement Rep gave me a scare. I had seen people running around with multiple shortlists and coming out empty handed at the end of the day. I had McK, BCG and Deutsche Bank on 2/12/09, ITC that night and Nomura and Shell on 3/12/09. I was a bit worried if I could sustain my enthusiasm till day two given that day one would be very hectic. Met Divya on my way to Mahanadi (where placements were conducted smoothly this year) and she was her normal encouraging self. Got some medicines from her, just in case I needed them.

My first interview was with an Associate Principal from McKinsey. The personal interview (PI) part went off very well and helped create a good rapport. My case was to help a Vancouver based company's innovation arm enter rural Indian markets. My experience with GE Edison helped me here. I thought I did the case completely and pretty well and this I think set the tone for my entire day with McK. I was then sent to a Director and this was a bit of a different interview. It was more of why I wanted Mck, why I did not want to app etc. I had to define leadership and talk about different leadership experiences of mine. I am not sure if it was deliberate but the interviewer was very different from the previous one. I didn't bother too much about what he was doing and this I guess helped me (Some people were put away by this). Had a small case where I had to identify factors which would help me decide if a copper processing unit should be placed close to a mine or close to the market. Didn't really know if I had done it well.

This is where there were some problems with my schedule. The PRs wanted me to leave the place and then go for my BCG interviews. However, McK asked me to wait for another round. Interviewed with a Partner who again asked me a variety of questions. Was asked to describe myself in three adjectives, then on how my coords would describe me in three adjectives, about the essential qualities of a leader etc. My case was to decide whether to outsource the rolling out of ATMs by a bank. I was moving slightly off track but took cues to finally reach a decent solution. In all my consulting interviews, in the last section I asked them questions about their experiences. I'm not sure if this part is important but nevertheless, better to go well prepared for it.

Met two people from BCG, don't remember their positions. Cases were on solving a declining sales problem in the steel industry and on the impact of mobile banking. One distinct difference was that I thought BCG had cases prepared with necessary data and charts while McK gave cases on the spot based on my interests and resume points. Also felt the BCG interview to be a bit more formal. After this, there was a two hour wait and weird stuff happening which I don't think I can disclose. Finally, found my name in the McK shortlist. BCG, then gave their shortlist and I was clueless on why my name wasn't in there despite doing the interviews well. Strangely, the BCG shortlist was more or less mutually exclusive from McK's.

Informed a few people about this and they just asked me to concentrate on McK. Had one last interview with an Associate in McK. Was very very different. 20 minutes went by about what I wanted to do in life and how McK can help me. The interviewer was very frank and dispelled certain myths and gave me a clear idea of how I could use McK's Business Analyst programme. Had a very short case about deciding how to invest 500 crores in the power sector. He told me explicitly not to focus on arriving at an answer but to give ideas. My little knowledge of the power sector though NYCEDC and GE Edison came to my help. Gave lots of ideas, some even weird. We, then got back to chatting about life at McKinsey and life in general. Thus, ended the last of my interviews with McK. Had to go through a gruelling 3 hour wait after this for the results. Decided to go to the Deutsche Bank interview. Caught up with some lunch somewhere in between. Was damn hungry and tired.

I was neither very keen nor had I prepared well for Deutsche Bank. My first interview started off with a 5 min discussion on why I had applied for consulting jobs. Was then asked completely irrelevant questions about my internships, even on clearly telling them that I had not worked on whatever they were asking me about. Had to then solve an integral. Was completely non interactive. Gave an answer finally and the two guys who were interviewing me said that I could leave in a manner which can be called anything but polite. The interview was useful in the sense that it helped me decide that Investment Banking was not my cup of tea. I did not want to ever work in such an environment. The fact that many people loved working there didn't change my decision. I didn't want to attend any more interviews with them and wanted ITC or Shell if I didn't get through McK.

The McK results hadn't yet arrived. Finally, we were informed that one of their employees would personally and privately inform us about the result. I met with one of my earlier interviewers. Was informed in the most casual manner that I had made it and if I had any questions. I have heard of the heart skipping a beat, but I think mine just stopped for a minute. I couldn't even think, leave alone ask questions. Told him this and came out. Called up my parents, Divya, Vaishnavi, Aravind and all others about my result. I was being congratulated from all quarters, most of whom I could not even recognize at that point of time.

Met Porko to ask him who else had made it and found that Vignesh was the only other guy. He was elated. The PSBB-IITM-McKinsey legacy was still alive. 7 years and running. It has to be one miracle of a coincidence. Spoke to Keki. We then left for CCD and then for a treat at GRT in the night. Disbelief continued till the next day when I signed the offer letter in the Placement Office. The job which I had least expected to get into a year before was now with me. Most of all, it made me relieved of not even having to consider an app or to wait for the CAT results. 2009 has definitely been a dream year for me and I thank God and my well wishers for that.

All's well that ends well

2009-12-11T08:14:00.000-08:00

Just finished my penultimate semester at IIT Madras and must admit that this one was full of highs and periods of cloudiness.

The post is a bit anachronistic as I want to deal with different topics.

Courses and all that
I thought I had made a wise move by dropping a free elective this sem. It wasn't a bad idea, after all, but little did I expect that I would be doing a "Do or Die" lab. Turned out to be a pointless and painful endeavour and it was the first time in insti that I totally gave up hoping for an E. The time series course, started off on an interesting note but turned out to be a nightmare with an endsem, a project and an assignment to be submitted on the day before CAT. Rest of the courses like accounting, microeconomics, process design were essentially one-all nighters. My BTP is awaiting to be started next semester. The worst part of the sem comes as the first topic.

Saarang
Getting a chance to lead the Publicity and Sales team of Saarang has been an enriching experience and an eye opener. The logistics and the planning with so many variables has been a big challenge. The monster of ticket sales has not yet raised its head. 'My Saarang' - less said the better. The Steering Committee Meet was a hilarious experience.

Business Plan Contests
We won the GE Edison Challenge 2009, which I must admit was a great surprise and presented our solution in front of elite audiences. Loved making the documentary. Thanks to Destiny and Divya for helping me out with it. We also qualified to the finals of NYCEDC's Next Idea 2009. The latest news is that we are not being funded and hence unable to go to NYC. Nevertheless, great experience in both the contests and strong resume points for placements.

AYES Singapore Trip
Came back from Canada and had a chance to go to Singapore. Was the best trip ever. Terrific company. Hectic sightseeing and shopping and loads of fun. Great networking opportunity. Can never forget this trip. Very, very special memories.

To app or not to app?
A question which took me several months, GRE, IELTS and two TOEFLs (due to the mic failure in the first attempt) to answer. Net result- waste of time, waste of money and I went with my initial decision of not apping. Technology policy apps came and went in between. I find a PhD to be extremely slow and boring. More like sitting in a dark room with no windows. Sitting on the 20th floor of a building overlooking the beach in Nariman Point definitely seems more exciting. No offense to the appers. This is just my opinion.

CAT
Hardly prepared anything except meticulously writing all the AIMCATs from TIME. Did well in the AIMCATs and also (I think) in the main one. Bumping it anyway now. Strange that a single day can make you a chooser from a beggar. My online exam went off without any hassles which was the biggest surprise for me about this year's CAT. Was an average paper with easy Quant and DI and moderate Verbal.

Placements
This was my first priority and I did put in a lot of effort into it. Was shortlisted to every firm I applied to. Had McKinsey, BCG and Deutsche Bank on Day One and Nomura, ITC and Shell on Day Two. Spent a lot of time doing cases with Aakash, Dandiya , Razor, Varun and my McK/BCG buddies. Also, pondered a lot about myself by preparing questions about myself and my resume and answering them to bring out salient features. This helped me a lot on day one. I think my Day One experience should be a post by itself. I'm just mentioning the outcome. I got into McKinsey on an action packed day.

Other Stuff
Made new friends and got some really close friends. Kept me going throughout the sem and found some things to be really interesting. Special thanks to Divya for being more tense than me on day one of placements and for the moral support, Vaishnavi for reading my resumes time and again, Sivaraman for doing all my assignments, Sarvesh for all the gen chats we've had and lastly Midhun for creating a passion about consulting.

To sum it up, it was the toughest, tense and most hectic sem which started, proceeded and ended on a good note. I'm just waiting to pass out and join McKinsey.

The Eventful Sixth Semester

2009-05-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

As I sit here in the Marine Drive Residence in Vancouver, I can't help but think of IIT Madras and the plethora of activities last semester. It was the toughest sem I had encountered and probably the most eventful as well.

The sem started on a high note. I had just got my intern through the MITACS Globalink program and was jubilant. GRE preparation was going on side by side and was taking a lot of my time. I was also a ticket sales coordinator for Saarang and I had my GRE on Saarang day zero. I did GRE pretty well with an 800 in quant, 600 in verbal and a 5.5 in analytical writing. The problem was that they had got my name wrong in the scorecard. It read 'KaushikAnand KaushikAnand'. After two hours of international calls and their inane reasons and stubborn refusal to change it I gave up. Saarang was fun and lived up to its name. Most of my time was spent in the ticket sales stall and I participated in very few events. I did, however, win the third place in India Quiz along with Vignesh and Sriram.

Once Saarang got done, there were quizzes and other things. Aravind's election is a highpoint in my life at IIT and was definitely the most exciting and thrilling part of my IIT life. Why and how would be elaborated in a later post, one that would be written after I pass out. It did take a month of my time. No cribs though. He won.

Quiz two followed and was not something to write about. We then had tennis Schroeter, which I played and lost. Amongst all these activities, we had uncountably infinite assignments, eccentric people(??) and a lab project. To add to this, I was running from pillar to post to get stuff ready for my Canadian work permit and UK visa(which I couldn't get eventually).

The sem also got me new friends, some of whom I am very close to right now. The weirdness of how we got to know each other still baffles me. We tried our best to do something and failed. The last sentence, would be a bit cryptic. It was meant to be that way.

Finally, I had my end sems and then I packed off to Vancouver for my intern. Here I am, touring Vancouver, Victoria and cooking.

P.S :I got all my grades. I have miraculously got 9.09 this sem and my 'app CGPA' stands at 9.22. BP3.

If Tarantino directs Vijay

2008-06-23T06:22:00.000-07:00

Note: The article is purely hypothetical.

Pre Production

"Ilayathalapathy" Vijay and Tarantino agree to come together, making a few compromises. Vijay agrees to cut down on a few songs and a comedy track. Tarantino agrees to direct a Masala film.

The search is on for an apt title. Tarantino suggests Warrior but due to the TN Government's decision to give tax rebate for films with Tamil titles they agree to name the film as Veeran.

Next they start searching for a heroine. She should conform to the below rules:

1. She should be fair skinned.
2. She must not know Tamil.
3. She should have big (.)(.) [Eyes I mean]

After a hectic hunt, they zero in on Pamela Anderson as she fits the bill perfectly.

The Film (In Tarantino's typical non-linear style)

1. Rogues complain to their boss, a Don from New York (John Travolta).
2. Duet song two with Pam (a nice Kuthu number).
3. Vijay saves Pam from a dozen rogues with characteristic stunts and punch dialogues. Pam falls for him.
4. Don sends a truckload of armed men who are no match for Vijay. Vijay's sister dies in the fight though. ( "Thangachi sentiment" at its peak).
5. Intro song for Vijay.
6. Vijay kills Don pretty easily after killing twenty of his armed bodyguards.
7. Duet song one with Pam (a nice melody) .
8. Hero goes to the Don and vows to avenge his sister's death. Tarantino writes a dialogue which reads "I will kill you". This translates to "Yearukku thamizhla aandu, naan adicha unakku gaandu" in the film.

P.S: For the above events to occur Tarantino has to direct Mahesh Babu first.

Is democracy the root cause of India's problems?

2008-06-22T10:57:00.000-07:00

Democracy is that system of governance wherein people have a say in the decision making process. It can be direct (Impossible in India) or indirect (Through elected representatives).
The Indian Constitution has been written so beautifully and should work perfectly well under ideal circumstances. The situation here though is anything but ideal.

The criterion to form new parties simply does not exist. This has resulted in an uncountable number of political outfits. Regional(istic) parties dominate the scene. Such parties generally represent a caste (eg.PMK represents Vanniyars). They have their own pockets of domination and cannot extend beyond that because of their ideology(or the lack of it).

This results in the election process being reduced to just "Caste Arithmetic". The end result is that we have unstable alliances where each decision/deal needs the approval of ten parties (not considering factions within them). This is a pathetic situation.

While the PM should be a person who has support from a vast majority of people, we have had a PM who ruled the country with a handful of MLAs and was recently involved in a fiasco in Karnataka. We have parties(read PMK) which judge the result of the next election better than exit polls and switch sides before it. We can take pride in having a Health Minister who has made a backdoor entry into the Parliament through the Rajya Sabha and does everything except what he is supposed to do.

Let us look at a state which has made rapid development in recent years : Gujarat under Narendra Modi.

He is a visionary and is said to be dictatorial in his approach. It is precisely this dictatorial attitude that has helped the state. He does not need to ask his alliance partners ("Pichangai" parties) or wait for a nod from a "Madam in Delhi". Selective dictatorship is necessary.

The need of the hour is to implement a bi/tri party system of democracy. It completely eliminates the regional/caste passion. We will not have parties which are solely aiming to split a state or those who have areas of stronghold.

It will change elections from a mere manipulation of numbers to those that are fought based on ideologies and manifestos. It may even push out "dynasty politics" unless people are Congressmen. We will no longer have offsprings taking over the party just because of their surname. He/She will need the support of people from different regions of the country.

This may not solve all the problems but will definitely be a step in the right direction.

The Godfather

2008-06-21T01:45:00.000-07:00

I start my series of reviews with my favourite film : The Godfather. I have seen it four times. Wouldn't mind watching it again.

Director : Francis Ford Coppola

Cast
Marlon Brando as Don Vito
Al Pacino as Michael Corleone
James Caan as Santino "Sonny" Corleone
Robert Duvall as Tom Hagen

Plot
The Godfather Vito Corleone refuses to support a drug dealer "The Turk" Solozzo. Solozzo is backed by one of the five families: The Tattaglias and has a good chance of being backed by the others as well because they see narcotics as a "thing of the future". Don Vito's refusal results in him being targeted. The story is full of sub plots involving Sonny,Michael and Hagen and talks about the life of the Mafia. How the Family comes over the obstacles is the crux of the story. It results in injury,hatred and even death. It finally leads to an unwilling Michael taking over the family.

Performances
The performances from all the actors are top class. Marlon Brando played this role at the age of 48 and is outstanding. Al Pacino underplays his role beautifully. James Caan plays his role with required aggression while Duvall personifies intelligence.
Even the characters with small roles like Luca Brasi, Bonasera, Barzini and Woltz make an impact.

Positives
1. Performances from all the actors.
2. The flawless script.
3. The dialogues: "I am going to make him an offer he cannot refuse"
"The Godfather doesn't ask for a second favour if his first one is not granted"
"The Godfather insists on hearing bad news immediately"
4. Portrayal of the Mafia as businessmen.

Negatives
Cannot really find any negative except possibly the background score which disappoints in the famous "Baptism scene".

Verdict : Superb

My First Post

2008-06-21T01:39:00.000-07:00

I hope to fill this blog with things I see everyday. It will have loads of stuff about movies, my reviews, details about the sports i watch and news from the most interesting sport:Politics.

I assure you that it will not contain any boring literary work.